Step 6… Tears.


It has been a tearful day. I finally spoke to my partner about how I was feeling. It is very reassuring to know that he completely understands. It must be hard for him. He said that the only thing that he wants in this world is for me to see what he sees when he looks at me. He says that I need to put on at least one stone. I explained what that would do to me. He understands. He knows me more than I know myself.
It takes an incredible amount of strength to say those things. He told me that he worries how far this is going to go and that I could lose my life if I do not let the professionals help me. He also told me that, despite me thinking that I have put on so much weight, that he believes that I am at my thinnest right now. It broke my heart. Why do I see, so realistically, the complete opposite to what he sees? It really hurts.
I have been lying down all day. I mentioned in an earlier post how my lung collapsed due to my weight. I have suffered a lot in the last couple of days through this. It has become so painful that I have given up taking painkillers. They do not work anymore.
The wait tomorrow will be hard, I imagine. I am useless when it comes to patience. I either want to get this over and done with or not at all. If I think too hard, I may not have anything to talk to the Psychologist about. I am tired now. I hope that I sleep tonight.

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About shefacingdemons

A very long journey of help for a lifelong eating disorder. I hope that readers can learn more about these issues through reading my Blog. I believe that there should be more support for families and more resources for parents. I appreciate any comments, questions and feedback. Thank you so much for stopping by. x A pert De vous. View all posts by shefacingdemons

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