Today has been much harder than I imagined. It has been long and unbearable. I have a nervous rash, a headache and I am shaking so much that I keep un-deliberately pressing letters as I type. This time tomorrow, the worst will be over with, no more waiting, but tonight, time is dragging. I have been alone for most of the day. I do not think it helped, but I do not think that I would have been much company to be around. I have thought hard all day, which is the reason I believe that I have a headache.
What questions do you think the Psychologist will ask me? What if I cannot speak, again? What if I do not go? What if they make me go to hospital? I cannot answer any of these questions and they are constantly echoing in my mind. I have always run away from my problems. I worry that I will wake up in the morning and run. I do not think I have ever felt so scared in my life.
I realise that people are now reading this Blog. How does that make me feel? That makes me feel very good about myself. I began writing this in order to spread awareness and give readers an insight as to what it is like to live with these issues. I also began writing it because I am too terrified to believe that I will go through this alone. So, thank you for reading. I hope that you learn something. If you are going through any of the issues brought up in this Blog, then I strongly urge you to get help. Being 27-years-old, I only wish I had asked for help years ago. Love. x