Receding


I have had much better weeks, but I have blocked out the thoughts with Smirnoff. I doubt that it will help in the long run, but it is better than lying awake at night. I have been around family a lot lately, which should cheer me up, but it has been in parties where I am expected to eat. This angers me as all the effort I make trying to maintain my shape for peace of mind gets trampled on and I now have to start over.
I have not yet been sent an appointment for my next meeting with the psychologist, neither have I received a letter to attend the eating disorder unit, so I have had many sleepless nights dreading the morning post. The wait, as always, is unsettling and thought provoking. I just want it all to be over with.
I have stopped taking my anti-depressants. They only add to my insomnia, which is the very opposite of what I had hoped them to do. I am plucking up the courage to revisit the doctor to ask if I can get a different anti-depressant, only our local GP is the Anti-Christ, so I am waiting for the nice doctor to return from her holidays.
What I want from an Anti-Depressant is for me to feel sleepy in the nights. A good night’s sleep helps more than anything does and now, I just want to lie in bed all day long. I feel lethargic, worthless and out of control on the tablets that I have been prescribed and I cannot seem to shake it.

Advertisements

About shefacingdemons

A very long journey of help for a lifelong eating disorder. I hope that readers can learn more about these issues through reading my Blog. I believe that there should be more support for families and more resources for parents. I appreciate any comments, questions and feedback. Thank you so much for stopping by. x A pert De vous. View all posts by shefacingdemons

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: